You Can't Do That On The Internet 3.0

The scary mind of Shinmaryuu

07 Feb 2012

My Most Embarrassing Love Story

Now before we begin i first must tell you a few things about this story. First of all it is completely true as i remember it, the dates have been removed to protect anonymity, and i won’t be using any real names for the same reason other than my own. The reason for me posting this story is because i hate Valentines Day. Even when i had a girlfriend i hated the holiday. Being force fed spoonfuls of lies just to make some store sales and sell greeting cards sucks. Love is spontaneous and free. Not something to be boxed and packaged for sale at a low low price. Anyway this is the story of my most embarrassing moment when it comes to affairs of the heart.

It all starts with some advice from a friend. Isn’t that how all bad stories start? Your friends get you into more shit than your worst enemy. I digress. I had been moping around a lot as i tend to do about my love life or lack there of. Being a social nightmare i don’t really tend to put my self out there much and when i do it normally ends poorly. Well this “friend” suggested that i try internet dating as a way to meet people casually and see where it went. I figured this was a decent idea as i had chatted online for years, even with girls, and found it to be fun and relaxing. So i checked out a few sites and landed on one that seemed to fit me.

Filling out the profiles for these things is like looking into a really dirty mirror and seeing all of your flaws. I am an honest guy so i was truthful about being overweight, a big nerd, and broke off my ass. I figured why lie about that kind of stuff if i was going to actually meet a girl i would want her to be ok with this shit. The only thing i didn’t do was post a picture of myself but i did say that one could be requested. It’s a privacy thing that i still stand by to this day.

So what is the first thing you do after filling out one of these things? You go looking at other people of course! Giggling at poorly taken pictures or funny profiles. Trying to figure out who is actually an escort/hooker/married. I found a few profiles of girls i thought might be cool and sent out a few messages and this sites version of a poke.

A few days later i got a message from a girl from here on out we will call “E”. I had really liked her profile as it seemed she was smart, family oriented, and more the settling down type. We liked the same music, movies, books, etc. Well the message basically said that she wanted to take things slow but that we could talk online sometime and she gave me her IM details. I sent her back a message with mine and we agreed to talk that weekend.

Well to speed up the story a bit we ended up talking online for almost a month at least a little bit a day. There was a connection there i rarely have with anyone. She was sweet, funny, and down to earth. We talked a lot about her hating her job and some of her past boyfriends. She had baggage but so do i so who cared. Well after that first month she finally sent me a picture. Up to this point neither of us had sent one. I actually understand this as a lot of girls don’t want random pics of them all over the internet…makes you wonder about the girls on facebook huh? Anyway she was really cute and most definitely my type. Kind short, long hair, really amazing Brown eyes. Well i figured now is the time this thing might just work out. Amazing connection, she trusts me enough to send a pic, all these hours talking about our lives, hopes, and dreams. I busted out the camera and snapped a picture of myself. Being the dork that i am i even edited it a bit in print shop adding a frame and silly little hearts. She knew i was silly i figured i would play it up a bit. Wrote her a quick e-mail thanking her all the talks and the picture and attached my “masterpiece”.

About a week went by and i hadn’t heard anything from “E” so shot her a quick e-mail asking if she was alright. The e-mail i received in return was i am sure to this day the cure for all happiness in the world. This e-mail would have made Mr. Rogers punch a baby in the face on television. The e-mail said and i quote “Maybe you shouldn’t send pictures if you ever want to get a girlfriend. Don’t message me again.” To say that this was brutal is like saying mass murder is kind of a bad thing. Seriously i am pretty sure that suicide will happen just by reading this story somewhere in the world.

At that moment i had checked my IMs trying to send her a message. Sourcing out the facts of this e-mail to see if she was just kidding or maybe someone pranked her for talking to me all the time online. She had blocked me…The e-mail was not a prank but instead by far the cruelest thing anyone has ever said or done to me in my entire life. I am 30 years old this year and i have still never heard anything so cold and heartless.

Why share this story with the world? Well it is the reason i have never went back to online dating, the reason i refuse to send all but my closest friends pictures of myself, and why i hate Valentines Day. You see the part of the story i had left out is we were planing on meeting up at a nice restaurant on Valentines Day…that is why we were finally sending each other pictures so we knew who to look for. I spent that Valentines Day in a bar with some friends drinking Coke, playing pool, and torturing the place with my jukebox selections…same as every year since and every year going forward.

The End

P.S. To “E” if you ever happen to read this story and realize it is about you…well i really did like you but in the end you became my example for the coldest, most heartless bitch to walk this earth. I hope karma finds you well…or not.

Posted in Life | Leave a Comment
31 Jan 2012

Girls Can Suck It

Yes I will admit to using a provocative title for this piece but it makes the content no less true. Frankly it’s just how I feel these days.

I have spent the better part of 12 years thinking I wasn’t good enough in some way for any girl to ever love me. Well I have now come to the realization that I was wrong. Women of my generation are out of their fucking mind almost as a rule. They are either brain dead party junkies too worried about getting high or drunk to care about anything else or they are too busy searching for a millionaire extra from Twilight or 90210.

I’m sorry if I don’t have the body of a vampire or lots of money but damn it I am a catch who is tired of wasting his life on girls who can’t appreciate that. I am by far the most loyal and trustworthy person you would ever meet. I am sensitive, caring, emotionally open, and not all bottled up into myself. While I don’t think sex is the most important thing ever I am passionate and loving with out judgement of body type. I’m not perfect and I don’t expect someone else to be but I’ll tell you daily that you are.

I have a great and diverse sense of humor. I love to laugh for hours about nothing in particular. A girl wouldn’t have to feel embarrassed about being goofy…I like goofy. She also wouldn’t be held back by me to placate my ego. Success, intelligence, drive, are all turn ons for me and not something to be hidden away.

Unlike a lot of guys I am also not scared of commitment. I want to get married and have kids. I am really good with kids and have taken to child care in the past as a part time profession. Changing diapers, feedings, I can do all of that. I would even be willing to be a stay at home dad if you wanted to focus on a career. About 1% of guys on earth would say that. Hell I even know how to cook!

Am I perfect? Fuck no I am not. I have been kicked around by life for the better part of 30 years. To say that I am socially awkward would be an understatement. I’ve been hurt and I travel with some bags but I have also learned a lot along the way. I’m a geek. I love video games, super hero movies, and I own more music than anyone should. I am also a classic romantic. I love old movies, poetry, and sappy love songs.

I have met guys who treat women like objects or a hole to have sex with. I know women who stay in god awful situations with these idiots. Meanwhile the prototypical nice guy can’t get girls to give him the time of day. So as I said in the title of this article girls can suck it! I am done trying to find some mystical woman out there who isn’t a judgmental asshat or is just interested in treating me like her gay friend. I am done chasing love. Either it can find me or I am going to spend the rest of my life happily alone. From now on people can chase me. I am tired of getting my heart broken.

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08 Jan 2012

Northern Exposure

Recently i have found my self in a bit of a love affair with Canadian broadcast television. This began a long time ago with shows like You Can’t Do That On Television a Canadian created show for Nickelodeon. Degrassi a show who holds Kevin Smith as it’s biggest fan. The Tribe an insanely well made and well laid out show about a post apocalyptic world with out adults. There is just something i like about Canadian created TV aimed at young adults.

My love of this genre of TV has been rekindled by 2 shows from Netflix. The Latest Buzz a show about teenagers who run a teen magazine while going to school. Along with Baxter a show about a new kid at a performing arts school. I love the diversity of characters from all races and creeds. I love the sweet but snarky sense of humor. I love the clean stories that don’t pander to the lowest idiot. These shows are made for people who have an IQ but still like to laugh.

It’s interesting to compare these shows with things like Hannah Montana or iCarly. They are less random and wacky but they replace it with a real sense of heart and wit. Shows from the US are meant to sell a star like Miley Cyrus. The Canadian made shows are more about real trained actors playing a part. You really can tell as the acting, stories, etc are much better than almost any US made show for the same age group. There is even the little seen character growth as one show plays into the next weaving a diverse character set for each star.

Canadian TV can best be described as this mix of British TV with it’s tight writing, acting, and show progression along side the US made TV with it’s high production values, decent to good music, and longer series. I really hope Netflix gets some more of this stuff from it’s deal with Starz as these 2 new shows for me have been a real treat to watch. I love me some British TV but Canadian made television is becoming my new favorite.

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08 Jan 2012

Sheep With Two Gs

This is going to be pretty negative even for me but i have something i want to get off my chest. I figure what better way to do so that to test out my new iPad’s ability to post to my blog.

The problem i am having is with these social based networks that uses votes to bring information to the top or as a way to do a rating system. Think of sites like Digg, Slashdot, Metacritic, and Rotten Tomatoes. In some cases these sites work just fine and are an ok way to gather up the top news of the day. In others they are easily gamed sites for people to be total jerkwads.

My biggest problem is with the raiting sites. People have started to rely on them and let them make decisions for them. How many times have you not watched a movie just because of a bad score on one of these sites? How about not playing a game because some big site gave it a bad score? I really don’t like this way of thinking. It’s group think and sheep like behavior. Just because your friends or peers don’t like something you assume you won’t either so you stop making your own decisions and opinions.

This mentality has started to plague everything from movies and games to politics. How many people don’t trust anything FOX news says because their friends think FOX news is bad? How many people actually take the time to look into the issue and see where the facts are? More and more people are just doing what they are told and agreeing to everything thing they hear because a “trusted source” said that it was right and a bunch of people agreed. I can’t overstate how dangerous that way of thinking is. One it just makes you stupid and ill informed because you are just getting a bite of a topic. Two not forming your own opinion is how cliques are formed and anyone who made it through high school can tell you cliques suck. They get their hooks into you and suddenly you’re dressing different, cutting your hair, and ignoring all your old friends. Bad news.

I am reminded of a Lavar Burton quote “You don’t have to take my word for it.” Use these social aggregation sites as a start but don’t let the ideas of the masses influence your opinion. 28% or 7 out of 10 means very little to someone who is informed, has learned what they like, and has made their own choices. Some of my personal favorite games and movies have low scores on these sites. Do i care? No i do not because i find them fun and i gave them a chance.

Posted in Technology | Leave a Comment
23 Dec 2011

2012 and Forward

“2 AM and I’m still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I’m naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you’ll use them, however you want to”

The above is part of the lyrics for Anna Nalick’s Breathe (2 AM) song. I feel those words describe me more than anything i have ever wrote. I am an open book and bleeding heart and a public emotional mess. I don’t hide who i am behind some perfect little title of what people are suppose to be. You can like me for who i am or you can get the hell out of my life. I refuse to change for society or anyone’s idea of what i should be. At almost 30 years old i have finally found out who i really am and i refuse to give that up for anyone.

So 2012 is the year i turn 30 years old. There is a lot of baggage attached to that if you follow the norms. I should be married with kids by now. I should have some career i work to hard at. I should be worried that my crazy hair is starting to turn gray. I should be a lot of things but i am not. 2012 is the year i throw myself fully into my art. 2012 is the year of Random Acts of Anarchy 365 a year long video project where i will break a lot of rules of what i should be doing or not. 2012 is the year where i release my second album “Imperial Pooton of Awesome: The Album” a sequel to my bi-polar biopic “The Muffin Is Truth”. I will also be working on my first young adult fantasy novel.

If you have followed me for a while now and you think for some reason that i am weird well you are right. At this point though i have held back a lot in order to be safe and “fit in”. 2012 is where those ideas go out the window, the filter is taken off, and you will see weird in ways you could never imagine.

Welcome to Wicked 13 Productions. Come have a trip inside my mind. It’s only scary if you’re lying to yourself about being normal.

Posted in Musings | Leave a Comment
18 Dec 2011

Taking Geek Back

Am i the only one who wishes we could take back the term geek? Back to the days where we would sit outside the lunch room because people on the inside were cruel. The days where playing Magic The Gathering in the computer room was the highlight of our day. The days where intellectual experiments took presidents over everything, including a social life.

We were excluded and looked down upon but what we were was real. There were no fake glasses to make us look more intellectual. We didn’t follow every stupid internet meme or pandering TV show. We liked obscure stuff and we were ok if we were the only one. People dressed the way they wanted and didn’t care if someone made fun of it.

Remember when jocks didn’t play video games? Now they run xbox live with their maddens and call of duty tossing out racial slurs and ignorance with every head shot. Gaming used to be hanging out with the only other kid who liked games playing on the couch eating whatever you could find until your parents yelled at you. Technology was for those smart enough to use it not for every valley girl on her smart phone.

Girls used to hate us or at very least ignore us. There was the random girl who was a geek but for the most part it was the boys club for the excluded. Girls were not dancing around half naked in some horn rim glasses to get better ratings on G4. Cosplay was dedicated to a few guys at a Trek convention in a field in some Midwest town.

Am i saying things were perfect? No i am not. We got beat up and laughed at. The psychological trauma is well documented. But honestly i would take it back just to make sure that the watered down fad of being a geek never existed. You can’t be called a geek if you haven’t suffered like we have. Geek is a title that is earned not bought at the GAP.

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11 Dec 2011

My Top 11 Bands Of 2011

These bands may not be new in 2011 but they are bands i really enjoyed in 2011. Why not a top 10 list? Because top 10 lists are boring :) .

 

- Fountains of Wayne: A band mostly known for the song Stacy’s Mom from the Eurotrip soundtrack i decided to give them a shot after hearing Paw from That Guy With The Glasses talk about them on his top albums show. I found a really fun band that is all over the place in their song writing from sweet to silly. They honestly don’t know how to make a bad song.

- ADELE: Seriously it would be hard to do this list with out adding this young English born song weaver. I found Adele via my friend Twingly on facebook. She posted one of her videos and i was in love right away. This girl has a once in a life time voice and the perfect blend of song writing to show it off.

- Demi Lovato: She came back from her depression and cutting issues to put out one of the most real albums of 2011 with Unbroken. This album is not a fun listen it’s a slice of her life put into musical form and it has a lot of raw edges. Honestly one of the hardest albums i have listened to all year and sometimes that is a good thing.

- Anna Nalick: One of my rare self finds. I found Anna via Pandora and fell instantly in love with her coffee house style song writing. I once said she reminds me of a female version of The Wallflowers. Her Wreck of The Day album is a must own.

- Axis of Awesome: These guys are a comedy trio out of Australia who remind me of a safer and less random version of Flight of The Concords. Their keyboard player is seriously talented as can be seen in some of their Youtube videos. I highly recommend looking up his duet with Tim Minchin.

- Lady Gaga: On my list yet another year. This woman is the perfect example of the world needing weird people. Her music is all over the place creatively and at times so is the performer herself. She has all the talent in the world to just be a singer but instead she has taken it to a new level of performance art and i love every second of it.

- The Decemberists: We have yet another Pandora find her. A band that has been around since 2000 with their blend of snarky wit and honesty based song writing. I am not saying i love everything they have ever made but so far i am really loving what i hear. I am a big fan of bands with very creative song writing.

- Travie McCoy: It’s funny that Gym Class Heroes are the only hip-hop band i can point to and say hey i really like them. I guess it makes sense then that their lead singer Travie’s solo project quickly became one of my favorites. Travie and i are the same age and i can relate to a lot of the stuff he raps about.

- Katy Perry: This one i can’t even explain. There is a lot i don’t like here when it comes to her music but i love her music videos and the girl herself. Katy defines perfectly what it is to be a fun pop star. I honestly think there is some depth there that people don’t see because of her sense of humor.

- Fucked Up: First of all seriously how can you not like a band named Fucked Up. Secondly they are by far and away the best unadulterated hardcore punk rock band of 2011. How this much insane loud noise and anger can come out of a bunch of Canadians is beyond me :D .

- Kings of Leon: This was not a love at first listen band for me. I not hugely into Lo-Fi rock bands with melodic lyrics. I even dismissed them for a while as Creed 2.0 a band i can’t stand. Over time though they have grown on me and really shown depth in their newer releases. They are not my favorite band of all time but they are a perfect example of not judging a book by the first read through.

 

There is quite a bit of mainstream in here but i am ok with that. Honestly people that dismiss mainstream bands because they get radio play make me want to slap them. About 90% of that hipster indie stuff is really shitty, poorly produced, pointless, noise lol. The other 10% is good though.

Posted in Music | Leave a Comment
06 Dec 2011

Serendipity or Romantic Message

Pardon the title i have been watching a lot of Rocky and Bullwinkle as of late :) . So this little article is about seeing something in your life that just touches part of you that you can’t even understand.

I have been re-watching How I Met Your Mother on Netflix recently and i came across episode 13 of season 1 called Drumroll, Please. The episode stars Ashley Williams playing a character named Victoria a love interest for Ted. There are a few reasons why this is important…at least to me.

First off 1-13 is my birthday and 13 has always been my lucky number. It’s actually kinda spooky how many good things have been touched by the number 13 in my life. Secondly the episode is by far my favorite of the series as i love the story of 2 people trying to capture a perfect moment and in doing so falling in love with each other. It’s old school romance at it’s best and i eat it up like a spoon. Third i love the character of Victoria. An insanely adorable, witty, comforting, caring, free spirited girl with a sad side. It’s almost like the writers took my vision of this perfect girl and created her on screen.

Could all of this just be a coincidence or could i just be onto a universe message. A message that says hey big guy keep trying that girl is still out there. My money would be on the first one but my heart goes more for number 2…heh…I guess those of us who haven’t been lucky enough to find our “Victoria” or our “Victor” can always fall back on what reminds us to keep looking….speaking of looking….

Chubby, socially awkward, and bat shit crazy SWM 29 seeks SWF. I’m a writer, poet, a hopeless romantic, a complete goofball, one of the best listeners on earth, and seriously annoying to most humans. I won’t look at you in the eyes for 4-5 dates (see socially awkward), I’ll try way to hard, and you may end up with a cavity from all the sweet things I’ll say to you. That said if you stick with me you might never get me to leave your side. Oh and yes we can just be friends. I’m used to it. :D

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29 Nov 2011

Tiny Crazy Grandma

So tomorrow my grandma is going in for surgery again. This time to add a shunt to her neck as the beginning stage of going through dialysis. The hope is to get her condition more stable and prep her for the possibility of getting a kidney transplant. I have been working on this song for a while as a way to coup with what is going on. Going to read it to her in the morning…hope she likes it :) . Say hello to Track 11 for Imperial Pooton of Awesome: The Album. This one is for you grandma.

Tiny Crazy Grandma
by Kevin Money

She’s always been stubborn as a mule
Lived her life by her own rule
Created things with her hands than no one could compete with
When life handed her challenge her lip always stayed stiff.

[Chorus]
She’s our tiny crazy grandma
Tiny stack of wild dynamite
She’s our tiny crazy grandma
Always making sure we are alright

Little in stature but a giant in heart
Her giving nature is off the chart
Brave from the beginning as she raised her kids
Did her best to keep them safe at night when they closed their lids

[Repeat Chorus]
She’s our tiny crazy grandma
Tiny stack of wild dynamite
She’s our tiny crazy grandma
Always making sure we are alright

Always willing to lend a hand to those who are down
Never accepting her well deserved heroes crown
This song is our dedication to the granny we love
Crazy little Sandy is the one we can be proud of

[Repeat Chorus]
She’s our tiny crazy grandma
Tiny stack of wild dynamite
She’s our tiny crazy grandma
Always making sure we are alright

Posted in Indie Media | Leave a Comment
03 Nov 2011

A Whole New World

It’s funny isn’t it that when you’re out there living your day to day 9 to 5 how little attention you will place on what is going on around you. Sure you may have strong opinions about the current news story of the day but you really don’t see the people around you. Heck i am betting most people don’t even know what is going on in their own family right now outside of your own home. Some don’t even know what is going on inside their own home.

I’ve always been a fan of Disney movies, especially the animated ones. They are full of life, song, and happy endings. They make you think of simpler times back when you were a kid running through a field chasing a ball around. Maybe hanging out on a street corner talking with your friends. It’s idealist to be sure but it makes you wonder why we can’t be like that.

It’s funny how people are born with this unlimited potential for creation and instead they box themselves in to non-existent rules and regulations of how a person is suppose to be. We allow ourselves to be fooled and manipulated like little puppets. Molded into the way everyone else thinks is right. Making sure to neatly label everything as we go. Well maybe i want to question if it’s right.

The current system the world uses breeds war, poverty, racism, hate, fear, judgement, power, greed, and apathy toward doing anything about it. That is how those we call evil are born. Apathy and fear. “Go ahead take a little here…oh ok take a little more just don’t hurt me…sure take it all i don’t care i have nothing anyway.” Sound familiar? You give in, you get scared, and then you give up. Welcome to the world we now live in.

It makes you wonder if we could take things this far the wrong way if it’s possible to take it back the other way. Change is a constant of life. Evolution changes things every day if just by a tiny amount. There have been more revolutions in our time as a people than i can count. Big changes are possible if people care enough to see them through and are not blind to not see them in the first place. You would learn about these events and amazing people if you weren’t so busy texting in history class.

Could we be a world like you see in Disney movies? I kinda doubt it since magic doesn’t exist unless you count science and if you tell a scientist that they will get mad at you because everything they say is right and you’re just a peon who can’t turn on a computer. We could go out right now and dance in the street but you would either get arrested for public disturbance or called gay by some pot head teenager. We could sing out our windows but we would get sued for an illegal public broadcast of a copy-written piece. So i guess whoever decides to take on the cause of making this world a better place is kinda up to his eyeballs in it.

Makes you wonder if Abraham Lincoln was at that point when he decided to call down the idea that the color of your skin meant that you could be owned by another man. Or if Martin Luther King Jr. thought man this is hard when he took those outcast people in his heart and made it to where they could be president of the United States someday. Just people, like you and me, who made the decision to care about something even though it was hard.

Every single problem in the world today could be solved by tomorrow afternoon. That is the power that we all hold inside us all. 6,971,817,418 people make for a really loud voice. Scary isn’t it? All that holds us back for global peace and endless joy….is ourselves.

Posted in Humanity | Leave a Comment

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